Understanding Your Gifted/ Talented Child

ACADEMIC, INTELLECTUAL, SOCIAL, AND EMOTIONAL NEEDS

Academic/Intellectual:
Some children are gifted in many subjects and require greater challenges in most, if not all, of their school classes. Other children may be gifted in one or two areas only. For instance, a child may be gifted in language arts (or English) and social studies (or history) but have average or below average abilities in other subjects such as mathematics.

Dr. Solow helps parents deal with questions like these:

• How do I know if my child is gifted, and why should it matter? Is the school's method of identification adequate to recognize my child's giftedness?
• How may parents nurture their children's academic/intellectual interests at home and promote more complex learning at school?
• What courses and activities provide an optimal balance for my gifted child in high school?
• How much is "too much" when scheduling elementary school children's extracurricular activities?
• Does the school provide enrichment or acceleration for children who are gifted in particular academic subjects? Is class content differentiated so that individual students may work at their own, appropriate levels of challenge?
• What are some of the resources (e.g., books, websites, organizations) that parents may use to stimulate their children's enormous learning desires?
• How may parents provide "real world" experiences or find mentors so that their children may get a sense of the career possibilities in a given discipline?

Social/Emotional:
Parents may misunderstand the behaviors that their gifted children display. Despite being intellectually gifted, children often "act their age" in other aspects of their lives. When parents expect their children to be as emotionally mature as they are intellectually advanced, problems may ensue. In contrast, some gifted children are so mature that they have difficulty relating to their peers. Most gifted children are well adjusted, but parents may still wish to learn how to handle certain behaviors that do not resemble those of other children they know.

As they enter middle and high school, children expand their social worlds. "Fitting in" becomes an issue for many gifted children who yearn to be one of the crowd. Still, their inner need to fulfill their intellectual or artistic desires may pose problems as they sort through the conflict of affiliation versus achievement. Other exceptional individuals may wish to remain true to themselves in ways that contradict conventional adolescent behaviors. To stay on keel, they must understand themselves and their choices. Who will provide them with the support that they need?

Academic, societal, and parental expectations may account for additional stressors in gifted, adolescent lives. While trying to determine "who they are," young adults must be able to sift through what others expect from them due to their talents. Which are their own desires, and which are those of others? Despite their natural talents in some areas, what do the gifted young people want for themselves? Clarity of vision and heart contribute to wiser self-assessments and decision-making.

MORAL/SPIRITUAL DIMENSIONS AND LEADERSHIP CAPABILITIES

Moral/Spiritual:
Does your elementary school child ever come home very upset because the teacher has not been "fair" in some activity or assignment? Has your child ever spent lots of time or energy trying to figure out the origins of the world or how to resolve some of religion's contradictions? Have you ever discussed moral or spiritual matters and been amazed at the depth of your child's reflections or quandaries?

When young gifted children explore these issues, they sometimes experience confusion or frustration because they cannot resolve the problems that they encounter. Rarely does this type of child want easy answers or platitudes. Deep consideration of these issues really matters to them. How should parents address their youngsters' uncertainties?

Older gifted children may wrestle with existential questions, grave concerns about social justice, political hypocrisy, and other "adult" issues. They also need parents' support.

Leadership:
When schools do not offer adequate opportunities for leaders to shine, how can parents help their children learn skills and gain experience? In what ways may parents influence schools to work more closely with the general community so that leadership potential becomes more obvious in non-school settings? Children from different cultural backgrounds may be leaders in their religious communities. How can their qualities be translated into productive activities at school? Students who do "average" work in school may show incredible talent in organizing and sustaining extracurricular groups or projects. Why aren't they recognized for their important contributions?

Nurturing children as potential leaders is as important as developing students' academic abilities. Parents often need to gain greater insight about their children's particular strengths and ways to enhance them and persuade schools to honor and encourage them.

DUAL EXCEPTIONALITIES (E.G., LEARNING DISABLED/ GIFTED; ADHD/ GIFTED)

Children who have specific learning disabilities (LD) and are gifted (GT) may struggle in vain to demonstrate their true intelligence or incredible creativity when they are stuck in a paper-and-pencil, bottom-line environment. Like other students with disabilities, they may feel tense, anxious, and sometimes fearful. Children who are "twice exceptional" often do not fit in comfortably with their non-disabled, gifted peers or with their special education cohort. Unfortunately, such children may lose their sense of self-efficacy, and their self-esteem may suffer many blows. To maintain some sense of control, students sometimes "fake" their way through school or pretend that failure does not bother them. Parents, look again.

Research tells us that the average point at which gifted students are identified as having learning disabilities is in 11th grade. Younger LD/GT children may "sail" through school until they reach middle or high school when their compensatory strategies are no longer successful. Early identification of dual exceptionalities may allow parents and students to team up with school personnel and create pro-active strategies to encourage the student to excel. When the schools fall short, however, who will be there to advocate for new approaches and new resources? Dr. Solow teaches parents how to advocate for their children more effectively by learning the educational jargon and understanding the school processes that yield the outcomes for their children.

PUBLIC OR PRIVATE LEARNING ALTERNATIVES

Moving children from one school to another can be a wrenching experience. That's why parents seek advice before they make such a decision. After taking an educational history of both the parents and the child, Dr. Solow presents guidelines for appropriate school selection.

In some cases, simply moving from one public school to another will make the child more comfortable and productive. There may be a small tuition to pay, but such switching does not have to mean great expense.

Not all private schools provide all gifted children with the perfect environment. Depending on the educational philosophy and atmosphere of a given institution, gifted students may "fit in" readily or not.

MATCHING THE NEEDS OF THE WHOLE CHILD

Parents know better than anyone else that their children's needs are complex and wide-ranging. Dr. Solow speaks with parents to learn about the individual child's social and emotional issues, greatest interests, extracurricular activities, perspectives about the world and other people, moral and spiritual outlook, goals in life, personal challenges, and self-understanding.

Only when the "whole child" is the focus may parents find the best methods for decision-making about their gifted son or daughter.

Because so many factors figure into parents' choices for their children, they often appreciate a larger overview of the situation. Dr. Solow discusses parental concerns from both pragmatic and research-based standpoints. When do social and emotional needs trump academic enrichment? How does one balance all of the needs of a gifted child when choosing a learning environment? What is the difference between "pushing" and "encouraging" children into new school situations?

CHOOSING TO STAY PUT

Frequently, parents do not wish to move their children from their current schools. Children may already have formed important friendships. Local, private institutions may not always offer the best alternatives to their current schools. In making the choice to "stay put," parents must look to the future to ascertain what lies ahead for their children in their educational environments.

Determining the kinds of staff personnel with whom they must collaborate, the school division's general educational and specific gifted educational philosophies, and the division's precedents for innovation may provide hints for parents who seek to make improvements within their own school divisions for their own and others' gifted children.

ACTING AS AN ADVOCATE

Parents are a child's first and most important allies. Although many parents would like to believe that the school division is making the best choices for their gifted children, they often discover that the staff is overloaded and cannot give the personalized attention needed to match the gifted program and options to their individual children.

To be an effective advocate, parents need to become conversant and knowledgeable about the school division's gifted program, the state's mandates or requirements for gifted education, and the range of choices available in varied, other school districts. Equally important, however, is the tone and attitude that parents use when addressing school personnel. Learning good negotiating skills should precede any assertive, parent communication with the school on their child's behalf. Which principles and perspectives will best guide parents as they explore options with their children's schools?

When parents feel overwhelmed by the number of staff they must face in a school meeting, they may ask Dr. Solow to attend the meeting to represent their best interests. With a professional advocate by their side, parents often feel more confident and appropriate in their requests for improved, gifted services.

ASSESSING AND NAVIGATING SCHOOL PROCESSES

Frequently, parents feel a deep commitment to their children's current schools. They may not be satisfied with the services being offered to their children, but they wish to work with the staff in a positive way. What are some basic steps for navigating the school system? Which protocol will be both respectful and effective when trying to help their children? How well do parents understand the gifted program and the language used to describe its services and options? The better educated about the school system that parents are, the more likely it is that they will succeed in attaining their goals.

ACCELERATION AND OTHER OPTIONS

What is the difference between acceleration and enrichment? When is it appropriate to do one or more years' worth of all-subject acceleration (i.e., grade skipping)? How is it feasible to accelerate gifted students in one or more subject areas? What are the school division's policies on early entrance to kindergarten and a compacted high school curriculum for early graduation?

Too often, schools will tell parents that what they are proposing for their child has "never been done before." Parents must learn to reply, "There is a first time for everything!" Obstacles to acceleration must be removed so that children needing that kind of advanced pace for learning will receive it.

For more details on any of these services please contact Razel Solow at razelsolow@yahoo.com